Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Lucy

This picture was taken the night Lucy moved in with us, January 27, 2007. It was also the last night she ever slept in that pet bed. Lucy surprised us with how easily she adapted to living with us.
Lucy loved to spend time outside and especially loved time in the garden.
We are both devastated by the sudden death yesterday of our sweet 12 1/2 year old cat Lucy. Last night was difficult. This morning I called off sick but plan to go to work tomorrow. My eyes are almost completely swollen shut and it is difficult for me to concentrate. I'll go in to work tomorrow and the rest of the week.
As far as the stages of loss I would say because of how fast the end came we did not spend a lot of time on denial. We made it through guilt pretty seamlessly (although I wish I had known she needed to pee before the vet arrived). Lucy let us comfort her in the end. She wanted us to hold her and she did rest in our arms. We did not go through anger either. We think her vet, Dr Lawrence and the hospital staff did all they could and thought it particularly kind that both called to check on us. In regards to the bargain stage of grief to be honest there is some quilt involved in the question of "would the outcome have been different if we had taken her to emergency care hospital Sunday?" The hospital vet seemed to not think so and I choose to believe him. I guess based on the stages of death we are depressed. John's is unique to mine as this is his first experience with the loss of a pet. I read depression can be described like being in quicksand. The recommendations I read regarding dealing with depression is while it is not a good idea to distract yourself from grieving to the point of denying or ignoring it is important to not get caught in it's energy zapping downward cycle and losing touch with reality. So I'm going to do some laundry this morning and if I can get my swelling down I'm going to workout this afternoon. John is out for a run in the park with his buddies right now.
Lucy came to live with us 3 years ago (her previous owners had a baby with allergy issues) when she was 9 1/2 years old. Her sweet spirit added a lot to our little home and here are a few things I will remember about how we loved her:
  • how easily it was to get her to purr;
  • how much she loved people, tolerated dogs and did not like cats;
  • how smart she was
  • how well she communicated what she wanted but was not hard headed
  • how she taunted indoor cats with her bell
  • how she drank with her paw
  • how she "kneaded" us
  • how she would just hang around us in whatever room we were in
  • how she "pranced" and "shimmy'd" for treats and/or affection
  • how in the morning we could call for her and she would saunter in and jump into bed with us and adore getting her head and chin rubbed;
    • how she roll around in John's workout clothes after they had dried to "get his stink"
    • how she would lay on her fake mink blanket and sleep while John worked and then tap him around 3 Pm needing a little attention
    • how she liked to be walked into the 2nd floor bedroom after breakfast for her morning nap
    • and how much she appreciated our doting love for her.

    Here are a few quotes from http://www.homevet.com/ under the How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet article I read this morning:

    "A pet may come to symbolize many things to each of us. It may represent a child, perhaps a child yet to be conceived or the innocent child in us all."

    "You do not need anyone else's approval to mourn the loss of you pet, nor must you justify your feelings."

    Be happy and/or thankful that you are blessed to be someone who finds joy in the companionship of a pet.

    "This is an opportunity for emotional growth. Your life was and will continue to be brighter because of the time that you shared with your pet. The is the best testament to the value of your pet's existence."

    2 comments:

    John Nuckels said...

    Lucy helped teach us how to become a family. She instilled in us a sense of devotion, responsibility, patience, gratitude and love for another member of our household. I think Bert and I have grown both spiritually and mentally since Lucy sauntered into our hearts. For that and thousands of other reasons, I am thankful to have spent a small part of my life with that goofy, lovable little furball.

    Donna said...

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your beautiful Lucy. It's easy to see why you loved her so much and why you're so heartbroken now. I've been in your shoes. It's hard.

    Donna
    Our Blog: Double Happiness!